Wha-? What’s that?
In the kitchen … Ach!
That’s the rat poison.
I thought we were done with that.
Well, let’s see what’s up. Not that
I ever caught the rodents at meal time
With any regularity, you understand,
But let’s try to see what’s up.
Oh, good lord! You’re not
A rodent, but a roach. And
You seem pretty comfortable
In my kitchen this late at night.
Well, I’m sorry Mr. Roach, but
If I can hear you walking
From the other room, if you’re
Going to be moving around
My rat poison because it’s in
Your way, well then, you’re
A little too big for your breeches.
Not tomorrow, but tonight, you
Mr. Roach, are going on
The Avermectin B1 diet.
I’m going to the store.
I’ll be back within the hour.
Well, they said these were for
The big roaches, but the holes
In these things are the size of my pinky.
And you’re more like
Three pinkies together.
How’s that gonna work?
Come out, come out Mr. Roach.
Doesn’t this smell good? Yum, yum.
That’s right. Eat up.
Oh, and I just got you new treats.
But fine, try to eat the old stuff.
That’s fine too. I’m not hurt.
You sure eat loud. Goodness.
Is this going to keep me up too?
Try to keep it down.
I’m sleeping over there –
See my pillows on the floor –
Just ten feet away.
Shh.
It’s late.
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3 comments:
I'd like to thank the Academy, and Sarah, without whom I wouldn't have known what to copy, and, of course, my new pet, who's a little cute, a little fat, and keeps almost the same hours I do.
Daniel Thi said you thought I'd be offended by this which is HILARIOUS.
I am all for feeding poison to roaches and anything else that stubbornly refuses to die when confronted with overwhelming evidence of its own disgustingness.
Killing fragile things always feels kinda weak but killing tough, disgusting things that fight for their lives (and don't just wave their arms ineffectually) kind of makes it an epic battle.
"killing tough, disgusting things that fight for their lives (and don't just wave their arms ineffectually) kind of makes it an epic battle"
This reminds me of the relationship I have with this person I know.
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