From Lady Fong to Lady Yi

It is my great honor to be married
to the only man in Hunan Province
that Lady Yi will not accomodate!
How remarkable; you say you are too dainty
for my second junior husband's schlong,
but he assured me that your senior husband
had no problem with it after you fell asleep.
Anyway, I suppose the lad is nearly twenty-three -
much too old for you, you lecherous hag.
The next time you come to visit,
I must remember to lock up my sons.
After all, the eldest is nearly nine.
I will see you at aerobics class,
but I can't come for Tichu. Don't bother
asking Lady Tsai; she has already borrowed
my second junior husband for herself.
I doubt we will see her in society for a week!
Don't go near her bedroom; you'll hear her yowling
like a stuck cat. Sincerely, Lady Fong