v. hoped, hop·ing, hopes
v.intr.
1. to cherish a desire with anticipation
2. archaic : trust
3. I was surprised she waded into the sea,
the surf so rough and her bikini so slight,
so strained.
She started to retie (retie!)
the string behind her neck,
while facing the pounding waves.
She could have walked back,
and tied the knot on dry land, quietly.
But she stood, fumbling, fingers slipping,
wave after wave,
smiling at the sea.
4 comments:
Been editing the main. Original below. Axed the last line. There might, maybe, be another stanza lurking on that point, but in that form it sucked, and was unnecessary.
More Metaphors of the Magnifico
hope \ˈhōp\
v. hoped, hop·ing, hopes
v.intr.
1. to cherish a desire with anticipation
2. archaic : trust
3. I was surprised she waded into the sea,
the surf so rough and her bikini so slight,
so strained.
She started to retie (retie!)
the string behind her neck,
while facing the pounding waves.
She could have walked back,
and tied the knot on dry land, quietly.
But she stood, fumbling, fingers slipping,
wave after wave,
smiling at the sea.
It took her forever.
I like this way of operating (showing your edits, sort of). I learned so much about poetry from reading the early drafts of One Art (see a critical essay about them here) alongside the final, perfect version.
I realized midway through the first draft that I got the basic form from somewhere. Took me awhile to remember it (and longer to find it online. joys of image search): http://bit.ly/9nIQ2v
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